🔗 Share this article That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year. As we consider the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final season started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last series. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob? The Kim Kardashian Drama ‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’ But that was practically the smallest of this show's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden writing? The tedious veneration of affluence and consumption? The almost deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this series again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to. The Charlie Sheen Documentary Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but flippant egotist. The Supercomputer Drama Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat. The Gangster Drama Shady characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back. Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed rather simplistic. With Love, Meghan Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh. Victoria Beckham There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series. The Inheritance It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it. The Lena Dunham Romcom How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky. The Sketch Show Return Not good enough to be ‘patchy’. Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer. The Knox Dramatisation This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so. Prime Target We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense. 1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.